On being always upset
Dec. 3rd, 2025 09:47 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
posicJordan Peterson says in a Facebook video -- https://www.facebook.com/reel/25103275009331698 :
"I'm always upset. I'm angry all the time." What are you angry about? Well, that's a huge question. What are you angry about? Well, you can make the person to list: What are you angry about? "Here's 30 things that I don't like about my marriage. Here's 15 things I don't like about my job." It's like, okay, those are all micro domains that we could learn to tackle. How could you make a case for making progress in these domains? How do you make a case to yourself? How do you make a case to other people? How do you start the process of micro negotiation, and what can you offer the other person in return? And that can all be practiced out in the psychotherapeutic session. And you can do that on your own, if you want. You know, it is nice to have someone to lay these things out with, but you can do that. List out everything that makes you angry. And then if each of those things is too big to tackle, then differentiate them. And then start tackling them one by one.
***
Isn't it obvious that that's exactly the wrong approach?
The correct approach is: quit the damn job. Leave the damn marriage. Find a better one, or do without.
And that's the reason why I consider the psychologists/psychotherapists to be useless. Because the decision/ability to quit a bad job and find a better one is not a matter of psycho-something.
"I'm always upset. I'm angry all the time." What are you angry about? Well, that's a huge question. What are you angry about? Well, you can make the person to list: What are you angry about? "Here's 30 things that I don't like about my marriage. Here's 15 things I don't like about my job." It's like, okay, those are all micro domains that we could learn to tackle. How could you make a case for making progress in these domains? How do you make a case to yourself? How do you make a case to other people? How do you start the process of micro negotiation, and what can you offer the other person in return? And that can all be practiced out in the psychotherapeutic session. And you can do that on your own, if you want. You know, it is nice to have someone to lay these things out with, but you can do that. List out everything that makes you angry. And then if each of those things is too big to tackle, then differentiate them. And then start tackling them one by one.
***
Isn't it obvious that that's exactly the wrong approach?
The correct approach is: quit the damn job. Leave the damn marriage. Find a better one, or do without.
And that's the reason why I consider the psychologists/psychotherapists to be useless. Because the decision/ability to quit a bad job and find a better one is not a matter of psycho-something.
